8 Months on - Never Straightforward

On Tuesday 30th May I finally had my appointment to see my surgeon who operated.  It was a six month check and I had a list of things I wanted to ask.

We got to Sheffield and five minutes after our due appointment (bearing in mind there were a lot of others waiting before us) we were told he had gone into a meeting and would have to cancel appointments or see the registrar. 
I wasn't too impressed by this, we had made a two plus hour drive to see him to be told this.  We decided that we may as well see the registrar and see what he had to say.
Finally in he read through the notes and looked at the MRI scan.  Gravely said to me, "you are lucky to be walking, looking at this you shouldnt be".  Reassured that the surgery had been a success despite the ongoing problems.
We didnt touch on the t8-t9 surgery too much, he looked at the notes and the scan pictures of the MRI taken relating to the neck and the C6 disc. 

This wasnt such good news.

There is a narrowing of the spinal cord which, at present doesnt need surgery.  However, after checking that my arms had strength and there didnt seem to be any issues there, he told me to keep a close eye on what was happening.  If ANY changes were to occur then I contact them and go to the top of the list. (that doesnt reassure me like it should). 
His words, which still seem to sit badly with me were "whereas we were looking at paralysis from the chest down with the thoracic discs, with the neck we are looking for paralysis from there down". 

I feel I have been given a life sentence and a ticking timebomb that could go wrong at any time.  My positive side says "forget about it, live life and get on with it" - the negative side which is kicking in right now says "oh god, I am going to end up in a wheel chair after all and there isnt anything I can do about it".  I know this isn't rational thinking but I feel once again I am thrown into a turmoil with something that is out of my control.  I hate it.

My main aim now is to lose some (remaining steroid) weight to reduce any risk on my spine whatsoever; put it to the back of my mind but be aware of any changes in my body and focus on the good things. 

You really don't know what is round the corner. 

Felt much better after a holiday in the sun :)