A New Year and a New Start

Happy and settled at home, I went back to work full time after Christmas.  Initially I struggled with the days and felt tired, but gradually my strength came back and I felt a lot better, in fact, I think work progressed me to a certain degree. 

However, there was a further downside - just when would things go right?  My hair had started falling out and I didn’t know why, I thought maybe it was the medication but I had been on it for such a long time I figured my body would be used to it.  I went and had blood tests and they all came back normal, thankfully.  I didn’t want to start the year with another problem.  I then talked to the practice nurse, who said that the body had been through so much trauma that usually about three months after such things, it closes down and tries to repair the body where it is needed, i.e. The ribs, lungs and heart etc.  Now while this is all very well, any woman will know that your hair is important and is more visible than the inner organs and I was pretty devastated by this new setback.  My lovely hair, which I took pride in, was looking pretty sad and sorry for itself and coming out in handfuls.  However, once I realised this would be a short term thing, I stopped worrying.  I figured that if I worried more, the worse it would be.

Gradually, I am pleased to say it has stopped falling out and is starting to grow back.  I have been taking Well Woman tablets to boost the vitamin intake, just give the inner healing a little help!  My next aim is to tackle the steroid weight which seems to have settled around the body.  Hopefully with more movement, this will in time come off and I will get back to how I used to be.

I have reduced the medication now to just one Tramadol a day and intend to drop that by the end of March.  The ribs still hurt but each day it becomes a little easier.  The legs are getting stronger, and although a little lazy with the physio exercises I realise the importance of these to get the body to a place where it will naturally be – the surgeon said that by about 18 months post op, however I am at that stage is where I am likely to be for the rest of my life so it is my intention to help it as much as I can.  This isn’t always easy when you get home from work and feel tired and want to fall into bed!  Mark bought me an exercise bike and I am going to use it more to strengthen the legs.

I have a holiday to look forward to in May, a week in the sun, and I think we deserve a little bit of “time out” after what we have been through, both mentally and physically.  I still have issues with my weight which is still there after the steroid intake, and I know it isnt the end of the world, but I dont feel I have any body confidence now.  The shape I am, the way my legs work and how I look; I need to get myself into a state of mind that will improve positive thinking.

Christmas 2011