As your family grow up and move away doing their own thing, it often feels that sometimes we are so far apart we as parents don’t care or understand. Before I went into hospital I wanted to leave a letter to them should the worst case scenario occur:
“Dear Matt and Laura
I wanted to put into writing the words that we sometimes find hard to say; we should communicate more and say more and certainly express how we feel, after all, I am your mum and will always want to be here for you. Bringing you up on my own wasn’t easy but we got there, and I would always want to be there for you.
Matt, over the years I have seen you grow from a stubborn (yes!) toddler who threw tantrums and made a fuss even for a hair cut, into a teenager who didn’t always study but seemed to breeze through school! Your prom came so quickly and I wondered where the years had gone, standing in your black suit you looked so grown up and handsome, I have the picture on the wall and it is a bitter sweet reminder of the weekend of your prom and the excitement, down to the sadness of knowing you would be moving up to Scarborough to live with dad and pursue college there. It was an emotional day for both of us and it felt empty once you had gone but you made the right choice and where you are today is proof of that. You are working hard at the hotel/gym and seem to have a focus on where you want to be (other than at another football match!)
Football however is, and always has been your life and I am pleased when you want me to go to the match with you and Billy, and I enjoy every minute of the day (and no, I don’t know the off side rule and probably never will!) Once I am well again, you had better make sure you get me a ticket for the Crystal Palace
Laura, my baby girl, you have grown up far too quickly and are a lot more independent than I was at your age. Some days I hardly recognise you, your trendy clothes, the way you wear your hair and make up, it seems to be me asking you for advice now! I am so glad I got to take the photos of your prom this year for the school. I had a wonderful night and you looked stunning, and I know you don’t like the picture, it is staying on the wall ok!
I know we have our differences and we do clash, but I enjoy your company when we go shopping, and even “oh mum you can’t wear that” is ok! It is a long way from you sitting in your bedroom with your Barbie’s; I remember Christmas when you got your Barbie House and I sat on the stairs watching you and listening to you talk and sing, even now it makes me cry thinking about it!
The good thing is though, I have so many memories of you both captured now on DVD from when you were little, some days I like to watch them and have a bit of a cry, the time has passed way too quickly. Do you remember the year you opened your Christmas presents from your stocking in our bedroom? Matt got a new Santa pen and was so excited, it’s so funny to watch; and Laura got a Barbie mug in a box which was equally excitable, however, you didn’t know what it was but you still liked the box! Time may pass but memories never fade.
Now I am facing some pretty tough times ahead and the seriousness of the operation is quite scary. I want you to know that no matter what, and if anything happens, I love you both so very much, I am incredibly proud of you both for being as mature and grown up as you are and I want you both to have a long and happy life and look after each other.
I love you both so very much
Mum xxxxxx “
My wonderful children - some years ago!
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